Getting Started Adding Website Content
Location: Moe’s Diner, Podunksville, USA
Characters: Moe, the owner and Flo the waitress and SMO pro
Scene: After patiently waiting for a rating from Flo, the SMO pro, on his website, Moe sits down at one of the tables in the diner at the end of the day to discuss her findings.
Flo (who has changed out of her pink polyester uniform into street clothes and is showing Moe a printout of his website’s homepage while chewing a big wad of gum): “All right then, Moe. What I see here is nothing more than a home page with a big picture of you and your cheesy grin, the name of the diner, and the address and telephone number.”
Moe (giving Flo a big cheesy grin): “It’s downright purty, ain’t it?”
Flo (slapping the big cheesy grin from Moe’s face with the red-painted fingernails on one hand): “Not hardly! Why would anyone want to visit this website?”
Moe (puffing out his chest and straining the thin, food-stained material of his cheap T-shirt): “Who wouldn’t want to see a big picture of me?”
Flo (cracking her gum and blowing a big bubble while rolling her eyes upward): “Let me put it to you this way, Moe. Who do you want to visit your website? Have you even thought about it?”
As Moe forlornly shakes his head, Flo continues: “Don’t feel too bad. You’ve made the same mistake most people make when they first start a presence on the world wide web. You haven’t thought about what you want to get from it. Now, the way I see it, I reckon you’re looking to bring more customers in to the diner. You want to reach locals and get ‘em in here for breakfast and lunch as well as attracting any folks who might be just moseying through Podunksville and lookin’ for a place to fill up. Is that right?”
Moe nods, but it’s apparent he’s no longer paying attention to Flo’s words. His eyes drift downwards to the ample cleavage displayed by Flo’s tight fuchsia sweater.
Flo (snapping her fingers underneath Moe’s nose): “Moe Taylor! Get yer eyes back up where they belong! Now, then. Let’s think about some things you could add to your website to make people take a look.”
Flo is lost in thought for a moment, twirling the curl of red hair above one ear around her finger. Suddenly, she snaps her fingers again. “How about we change your home page and include some information about Podunksville? Maybe a bit of history about the diner. We can add a page with coupons and specials, one that lists the items on the menu, maybe a forum, some photos and a video, and add a link to a blog!”
Moe (leaning back on two legs of his cheap diner chair): “A blog? What’s that – some monster living in the bog?” Suddenly, the thin aluminum legs of the chair give out and Moe ends up on his ample butt sprawled across the black and white checked linoleum floor.
Flo giggles uncontrollably and Moe sends her a stern look as he heaves his bulk upwards and grabs another chair. “What’s so funny, woman? I coulda been hurt!”
Flo (holding her sides and wiping her eyes with one end of the gauzy scarf tied around her neck): “If you weren’t such a cheapskate, maybe your chairs could handle your, um…er…manly bulk. Anyways, a blog is simply a place where you can post some articles. You could talk about how you got into the diner business, maybe events around town, or new items you want to add to the menu. The key is to make the posts interesting, so that people will read ‘em and keep coming back for more. Plus, a blog gives you a way to build outbound links to other people’s websites, which you get when they comment on your posts.”
Moe (removing his ball cap and scratching his bald head beneath with one beefy finger): “I dunno, Flo. What’s an ‘outbound link’? Anyways, I don’t write so good. How about we just put a picture of you up on there?”
Flo (standing up and gathering her purse and coat to leave the diner and go home): “Kiss my grits! We are not going to put my picture up on there, Moe. Tell you what, though. I’ll write the posts for you and I’ll only charge you half my normal price.”
Moe (pushing back from the table and rising to accompany Flo to the door): “I gotta pay you for that, too?”
Flo (giving Moe a kiss on the cheek which leaves behind a big, red imprint from her lipstick): “Honey Pot, nothing good comes cheap. Remember that. I’ll get some posts written up for ya and get your blog started and then we’ll work on some other stuff you can do to drive traffic to your site.” Ya know, I’ll even guarantee you see an increase in business or you don’t have to pay me!”
Moe smacks his lips as he watches Flo swish her hips while stepping outside into the dark street. The door closes with a ring of the bell at its top and crosses his arms over his big chest as he speaks out loud to himself: “If she wasn’t so good I’da fired her and her grits long ago!”
