What You See Is What You Pay For
Location: Moe’s Diner, Podunksville, USA
Characters: Moe, the owner, Flo the waitress and SMO pro, and Veronica, Flo’s coworker at the greasy spoon – a thirty-something, skinny bruntette with a nervous tic in the corner of her left eye.
Scene: Veronica takes a break after a busy lunch shift and plops her skinny butt in a seat on a stool next to Moe as he discusses his internet marketing woes with Flo, the SMO pro.
Flo (as she wraps a clean napkin around her behind to cover up the effects of backing into the hot grill): “So, Moe. You got yerself a doggone, newfangled website, eh? And it ain’t doing anything for you?”
Veronica (in a shrill, girlish voice): “Moe Taylor! You got yourself a website and you didn’t ask Flo to help you out? For Pete’s sake! (pointing a thumb at Flo, who is flipping a burger on the grill and adding a slice of bright orange cheese) And they say I’m dumb!”
Mel (looking sheepish and twisting his big, beefy hands in the creases of his soiled apron) “Gertrude told me I should just look on the internet for the cheapest price to get a website all set up and such.”
Flo (lowering one eyebrow and looking daggers across the counter at her boss): “Moe Taylor! Your girlfriend Gertrude Hanson may be good at some things, but giving you business advice is not one of them!” Flo takes a moment to wipe her perspiring brow with a napkin. Only when she feels the rush of hot air against her behind does she realize she’s grabbed the one tucked into the waistband of her apron to cover her drafty drawers) “Damn! I shudder to think of just what she is good at, Moe, honestly… Anyways, have you ever heard of WYSIWYG?”
Mel: “Hnh? Talk English, Flo, for chrissakes.”
Flo (cracking her bubblegum while tucking the napkin back into the rear panel of her pink polyester uniform): “That means What You See Is What You Get. It’s a term they use for idiot-proof software which creates a website for ya. Anybody can get it, and use it, and then hang their sign up on the internet advertising they’re qualified to make websites. Unfortunately, honey, what they end up with is WYGIWYPF”.
Veronica (popping up from her stool and piping in with her little girlish voice): “Oh I know what that is, Flo! Pick me! Pick me!”
Flo (rolling her eyes at Veronica but pointing at her with one fingernail adorned with chipped red polish): “Alright, you. Veronica. Your answer?”
Veronica (smugly): “What You Get Is What You Pay For!”
Flo: “That’s exactly right, Sweet Pea. Now go attend to your tables. That man at table four looks like he’s going to have a heart attack if’n he don’t get a bottle of ketchup ASAP!” (Flo and Moe watch Veronica scuttle off to talk to the occupants of table four. Flo hits Moe on his bicep with her hamburger spatula). “Now did you hear that, Moe? What you get is what you pay for. Veronica was right. If you weren’t such a skinflint, you’d have done your website up right! Lemme take a look at it and see what you’ve got and I’ll get back to ya.”
